Monthly Metox Practice: October 2026 Removing The Need For Approval
For years, I thought I had to go out of my way to get people to understand me. Family, friends, business partners-you name it. I got to a point where I would hope the next conversation would be the one where everything just clicked into place.
Obviously- it rarely did!
The strange thing is, our 3D world teaches us that this is how life works. Explain yourself. Defend yourself. Prove your value. Build your reputation. Win people over. If someone doesn’t understand you, then try harder.
So we do.
It happens at home, at work, in our communities and more. More explanations and more justifications - and repeat.
We overwork, perform and carry shed loads of evidence, hoping someone will finally stamp them APPROVED!
It’s exhausting. Aren't you exhausted?
There has to be a different way!
I google this stuff late at night. Psychologists have found that well-being is closely linked to autonomy. The Self-Determination Theory describes it as one of the basic psychological needs that supports mental health and resilience. Research also shows that self-compassion and internal validation are associated with greater emotional wellbeing. That doesn’t mean relationships stop mattering. It means they stop becoming the place where our identity is decided.
When you take a METOX, it poses that same question.
What if the prison isn’t people misunderstanding us? What if it’s believing they have to understand us before we can move on?
I’ve watched this play out personally on repeat. I’ve been in plenty of situations where my creative contribution wasn’t recognised. Not that I was chasing the applause; I just wanted fairness. But somewhere along the way I realised I was spending more energy trying to convince them of my value than actually protecting the value itself.
When I moved countries, I desperately wanted to feel embraced. When it didn’t happen, I questioned myself instead. Was I not enough? Had I failed? Or was I simply asking somewhere to become something it wasn’t able to be?
That has been one of the hardest lessons of my life. We don’t actually need agreement to know our own truth. Breakthroughs don’t happen when we are understood. They happen when we stop making our peace dependent on whether they are or not.
I find myself in a rhythm now. If I don’t check in with myself, I forget this and end up on the needy train again. A regular Metox removes the inherited beliefs that my feelings require a witness before they become valid.
Put it this way.
Your sadness is still real if nobody recognises it.
Your joy is still real if nobody celebrates it.
Your contribution still matters if nobody claps.
Your truth is still true even when someone else disagrees with it.
There is a shadow - of course. I am not saying that we should become cold or detached and never ask for understanding. It’s vital to accept each other's different lenses. But it does mean we no longer hand someone else the pen to write our story.
All of a sudden, we stop explaining ourselves to people who have already decided who we are. We don’t chase invitations into places we don’t belong.
We stop performing.
All the versions of ourselves that earn the approval while abandoning our REAL self.
Monthly Metox Practice: October 2026
October's METOX® practice explores what happens when we stop looking to other people to tell us who we are.
Through guided reflection, journalling and body-led exercises, you'll uncover where you're still seeking approval, what it has cost you, and how to build lasting self-worth from within.
This month is about trusting your own voice, choosing your own values, and remembering that your worth has never depended on someone else's permission.
LOVE X
Comments